As part of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, we highlight the inspiring voice of Christine, who has been fearlessly working towards eating disorder recovery with the help of Balanced dietitian, Allison. Thank you for allowing Balanced Nutrition to be part of your journey!
“I am incredibly grateful to share my voice, as I have navigated my way through an eating disorder for more than half my life. I have suffered from an eating disorder for over twenty years. During those twenty years, I have fought against an eating disorder on varying levels. Throughout that time, I have had five kids, which helped to quiet the eating disorder to some degree, so I could nutritionally provide for my children. Fast forward to when my youngest was school age and my oldest daughter went away to college, the eating disorder came back with a vengeance. Since then, the eating disorder almost took my life several times, and I have experienced every type of emotion that the eating disorder can bring. The eating disorder once stripped away every ounce of my being, but now I am here to fight back with my voice.
I have been working with Allison at Balanced Nutrition for over a year now and she has led me to see the light that is coming back into my life so vividly. Along with years of counseling, I am still trying to reach my ultimate goal, which is recovery. I am choosing to speak on several different themes that have been at the forefront of my being, while living this journey and fighting to have my life back with true freedom.
The theme I share about today is something that was required to start to shatter the barriers of an addiction. This addiction has been my eating disorder and the word I am referring to is vulnerability. In order to begin and take even one step in my recovery journey, I had to be vulnerable. The first step was one of the most difficult, since it required the ability to admit “I need help.” It required the ability to see through the darkness of an eating disorder and admit that a force had come into my life to try to steal my very being. This vulnerability was painful, and it felt as though I was fighting against a force that could not be broken.
Now, I look back at that time in my life and realize I was numb. Emotions didn’t mean anything. Vulnerability took too much energy for me to actively consider. Instead, I focused on taking one breath at a time. With each forced breath, came two steps forward and two steps back. It often felt like a losing battle. What I didn’t realize, was that in the vulnerability I was beginning to tap into there was a glimmer of hope to take the next step and to find the grace and gratitude to be thankful for the fight.”
We are here to help you on your recovery journey. If you are struggling with an eating disorder, learn more about our dietitian services here.